The Last and First Hour of Your Day: How to Optimize It for Success

In this conversation, I and other leaders share what they do in the last or first hour of their day that has contributed to their success the most. 

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Transcript

Work-Life Balance for Leaders (How to Optimize the First and Last Hour of Your Day)

[00:00:00] All right, we are officially live for work-life balance for leaders. If you could hear me in the audience, put an emoji or something, and I'd gratefully appreciate it, so we know that we're not talking to ourselves. Thanks, Kelly . Thanks, Brian. All right, so this is going to be a phenomenal conversation. Uh, I want all of us to benefit from this conversation by learning.

What it is that we may be doing that could give each of us a competitive edge or you know, something when it comes to this work-life balance thing that all of us are kind of doing. I specifically want to focus on the last hour of the day. and the first hour of the day. So we're gonna make this conversation a little bit creative in that way, where it's like, what do you do?

What do we do in the last hour of the day to prep for the next day? And then what do you do? What [00:01:00] do we do for the first hour? of the day so that you could have, you know, this competitive kind of advantage. And I have addvie up here. She's a lawyer, she's a mother of three. Uh, she's a wife. She's. Uh, high performance coach.

So she's gonna chime into the conversation as well, because, you know, that's a lot to balance. But if you're in the audience and you consider yourself a leader and you wanna share something that you do in the last hour of your day or the first hour of your day, that you think would benefit other leaders in their work-life balance and raise your hand and we'll bring you to the stage.

If you have a question about this, then raise your. And we'll bring you to this stage. Now, before we start, I would love for you to share the room. Um, this is only available for your network to listen in and to participate in the conversation while we're live. So the way that you share this room is you click the three dots at the top of the room, and then you share the event.

All right. So [00:02:00] Avie, what, what are some things. What's like one thing that you do in the last hour of your day to kind of wind down and to kind of prep for the next day? And I'll go into some of the things that I do and hopefully we could learn from each other here first. Chane, thanks for having me again.

Love, love being here and love this community. Um, so one of the things that I've learned to do, At the end of the day is journaling. I always journal my thoughts and my thought processes to get everything out of my brain onto the paper so that I can be, have a clear mind for when I'm going to sleep. So it's really a big thing that I do.

And do I do it every night? No, it depends, but I'm always writing even during the day. So at night, if I have something left, I put on the paper so I can let it go for the evening and have a better night. . All right. So what do you, what's like a question that you answer in your journal? [00:03:00] One of the big ones is always, what did I, um, accomplish today?

Mm-hmm. , like, what are, what were like five of my successes or five of my, um, smaller big ones. I always do that, and then I always talk about how I. Show up the next day, like, how do I wanna shift anything and show up the next day? I also honestly should, I sometimes don't answer a question and I just share what I'm feeling.

So when I've had, I had a coup, I have had several, several personal losses in our family recently, and a lot of my journaling was about that, getting those emotions out and helping myself process those emotions and just being really honest on the page, and that was really helpful. . I love that. So I'll go into one thing that I do, or a couple things, right?

So the first thing that I did was I replaced the light bulbs in my room with like, it's like 30 bucks at Lowe's or something with these l e d, like you could control it from your phone light bulbs. [00:04:00] And then, so I turned them to red. , uh, you know, within the fir the last hour of the day, and that supposedly helps trigger like melatonin and whatever.

There's science behind this stuff. Liv just thinks it's cool and wants to keep turning it to pink , but I'm like, I'm gonna keep my red. You could have pink in your room. I'm just, she could invent pink, like light therapy then, then like for me, it's almost like my shower is my. . So, so I, like, I take a shower and, um, I just think, right.

I usually don't even listen to a podcast or anything. I take a shower, I put on, uh, pajamas and then usually do incense, right? And I don't have a TV in my room, so I actually don't have a TV in my house. Uh, it, because I don't wanna watch tv. So usually the last hour of the day, I'm like reading, um, lay down in [00:05:00] bed.

and then I put like my sound machine and I try to go to sleep by like 11. Now, most days that doesn't happen, but you know, cuz I'm a night owl. So this has been like a constant battle where it's like, oh, 30 more minutes, 30 more minutes. But I really do, I try to go to sleep by like 11, 11 30, midnight the latest now and then, um, I usually wake up to my dogs licking my face,

The other thing, the other thing too, Shana, is um, the importance of really winding down. Like really, like your whole process is winding down. Like really letting your brain say, okay, hey, here's the trigger. We're going to sleep now. It's like calming your body down and I love that. The one thing that, um, the one thing that you mentioned that hit home for me is that my husband also does this.

That he takes showers to calm himself down and to. Yep. Like he doesn't want any noise, so he, [00:06:00] his space to think is the shower. So not just that night, but even in the middle of the day, if I'm working remotely at home, I'll hear the shower and I'm like, what the heck? And then hits him taking a shower and I'm like, what happened?

He's like, I just need you. I just needed to think. I just needed to let go for a bit. Yeah, I get that. I, I totally resonate with that. And then one thing, cuz like you could be so almost desensitized to like everything that happens in a day. So one of the things that helps me, and I don't know Tara, you probably know more about this, is like, um, I, I buy like soap.

It's like this organic sea soap, but it has like scrub things in it. And same with the Shia butters. So it almost like forces my body to. like feel everything. Does that make sense? A hundred percent. So I'll share some useful things cuz bedtime for me is huge because I believe that our dream state and our waking state coexist.

And so this is how I get instructions. So I do plan [00:07:00] for the day before and what I've learned in my life is not to focus on tomorrow or the next day or next week or what's going on in the month. It's just to focus on the day. So I only focus on what's gonna happen the next. I also kind of unwind two hours before bed.

So like Chene, I don't listen to podcasts, I don't watch tv. I, I put on light music. There's something you guys can go to on YouTube. It's called the Debbie Prayer, d e v i prayer. There's an hour, um, there's an hour video, and then there's a 22 minute video and I never make probably more than 12 minutes.

But if you put that on really nice and low, it is the most calming thing in the world. I do journal, I do a gratitude journal. I journal in the morning more on progress prompts, like self discovery prompts, but at night I do gratitude for sure, and I also do like a seven minute meditation. And the reason why this is so important, guys, is it's because it unloads your head.

It's kind of like a brain dump before you go to sleep. so that you're actually more open to receive through your dreams. And so [00:08:00] we are highly intelligent creatures and sometimes we get a lot of messaging through our dreams. I do shower before I go to bed like you Sha today, and I do a whole little self-care routine before I go to bed.

And one of the greatest things and investments I've ever purchased in my life is a weighted. Blanket. If you haven't done it, go find one. They come in 10 pounds, 15 pounds, 20 pounds. They are incredible. And you will not move during the night. It's like being coddled when you were a baby and so that you can get like in uninterrupted sleep.

Sleep is so, so important and I make sure that my phone is like away. It's not. Beside me, it's on my desk. On the other side of the room, I make sure that there's no like blue light on nothing, and I set my temperature in my room to cool. If you sleep in a hot room, you're gonna be restless, but if you want the most and you wanna hit stage five, which is REM sleep in 90 minute intervals, you do it in a cold room.

So that's kind of my nightly routine and nobody bothers me. I make that very clear unless the house is burning down. . Yeah, I'd love that. And for [00:09:00] everyone in the room, if you entered late or you know, you're just listening in, we're focusing on work-life balance for leaders, but specifically things that you could share for other people that can benefit that you do either in the last hour of your day.

or in the first hour of your day. So these are specific to last hour or to first hour. If you're loving this conversation and you'd like to give an opportunity for people in your network to listen in, click the three dots at the top of the room and then share the event with your network, we'd appreciate it greatly.

So who else wants to chime in with maybe something that hasn't been mentioned yet? Um, and we're also making a list, you know, so from journaling, shower. within the last hour of going to bed, changing the light bulbs in your room so that you could, uh, the l e d ones, I'll get the brand where you could change them to red.

Um, having some sort of scrub to desensitize your bo to sensitize your body after a desensitized day. Uh, [00:10:00] wait. A blanket, Debbie Prayer. I'm writing all these things down. Brian, do you wanna chime in? Yeah, I chime in. Do you wanna not whisper

Oh my gosh. Okay. How about now? Yeah. Better bring the energy. Brian, bring the energy. This isn't a Monday , so Yeah, you say that, but, uh, it, it feels like a Monday. It's, uh, it's Wednesday. Thanks for having, uh, having me. Thanks for, uh, hosting this room. Thanks for this, uh, great panel. . You know, it's funny that you mentioned work-life balance cause this morning was completely wreck.

Uh, usually I get up, one of the first things I do is, uh, I meditate for 15, 20 minutes. I've got, um, certain pumps that I go over. And usually, uh, after, after I do my [00:11:00] meditation, my, uh, I, I'll give a call to my uncle and we'll go over cuz he, he's a really religious guy. I'm more spiritual. and, uh, we'll go over, uh, certain scriptures and we'll read 'em and we'll, you know, kinda compare notes and kinda see how they's going.

But after the meditation, after the, uh, after the meeting of the minds, one of the first things I like to do is go for a, uh, mile or two mile run or. and, and not just on pavement. I like to get into the, I like to get into the, um, into the nature. So I'll the dirt find out. Yeah. Sometimes I'll take my shoes off.

Yeah, that's good. Yeah. It, it, it, nobody else does it but me. Everybody thinks I'm crazy, but it feels amazing. And, um, this morning I got real [00:12:00] thrown off, so I just came off. I just came back from, uh, uh, to my height and, uh, I'm sweaty. I just had my breakfast, which is one of the things that's really important for me is having the right foods at the right time.

So, early in the day and late at night, I eat really, really light. So in the morning it's, it's fruits and oats, and at night I try to have some roughage and water. I cut out all sugars as much as I. and, um, yeah, eating right makes a huge difference in eating at the right time. I love it. And I like that you mentioned that I don't think that people walk barefoot enough, um, you know, in, in their environments.

And I don't know the science behind it, but I do know that, uh, you know, usually when you're barefoot, you're like at the beach or you're in in nature and it feels. , [00:13:00] uh, and you could like recharge your energy that way. and I'll give you a tip cuz I ground all the time. Brian, you're not crazy cuz my neighbors all think I'm, they call me the ferry that lives at 2 0 2 because I have a horse across the street from you to park around the corner and of always walking barefoot.

So there's science behind this and actually I'll send you Shana, I don't know where we could post. Maybe we'll post on LinkedIn. There's this, uh, little video where this guy takes, um, uh, he captures, he's a doctor. He captures all the cells inside a woman's body. Tells her to go outside, walk for 10 minutes, barefoot, come back, and then they take another capture of her cells.

And they were clumped together in just 10 minutes walking barefoot. You can see them after she comes back. They're all like separated and they're all flowing beautifully. And if you want a little trick, go get a spoon from your kitchen. I know this sounds weird, guys, but it works. And take the back of the spoon and rub it on the, the bottom of your foot.

Like in that little, like, um, that little like um, cur little part. Yeah, the little cur, you know what [00:14:00] I'm talking about right there. Just rub it and then go and walk on the grass. I'm. It's, it's amazing and, you know, you can do the same thing. They, a lot of people don't understand the, like I said, the signs behind it, but copper bracelets and copper clothing makes a huge difference.

Right? That's, I, I believe that's, that's a lot of the signs that goes in the ground. By the way, I would just love to add that even if your jet lag and you walk barefoot on grass, it will help you with your jet lag. That's also a form. , look at you, Jay. Awesome. So who else wants to add something that they do that maybe hasn't been mentioned yet?

And again, we're keeping a list of this and I'll publish an article on what people shared. Um, but who wants to share what they either do in the last hour of the day or the first hour of the day? Bradley, do you wanna go? I, yeah, I would. Oh, sorry. Wendy. Wendy and then Bradley. Um, so [00:15:00] first, hi Bradley. If you, uh, I just wanted to talk to the grounding first because I lived in London and there was a spiritual woman who was the head of the house where I live, and she used to have us stand outside two feet on the grass, arms up in the air.

So we received the energy from the heavens, grounded us to the Earth and it was a, a circle and I still do that sometimes. I did that more in New York. Um, . You know, Shanee like you, I, I tend to work at night, especially being in the restaurant business, and I'm finding that I have to cut myself off from work and just rest and relax.

Um, but the other thing that I need to do is I need to schedule a time for me because I can literally sit at my desk and work and work and work and work. And I don't. And I like it. I do really enjoy it. Um, but I don't make time for me. I need to make time to get my nails done. I need to set. To, you know, see friends and go out and, and enjoy life more, or else I can find myself just working [00:16:00] forever.

And, um, I really used to wear it like a badge of honor until I got burnt out. And then I didn't even realize that I was burnt out. So my suggestion is to schedule time for your self-care so that you can find that work balance or else you'll just find yourself constantly working. And then there is no.

Wendy, can I share something on that? Because I think that's so important and I myself had struggled with that. Um, so, so much and the one thing that has helped me consistently, and I know, I know people say this a lot, but it does make a difference when you keep the commitments to yourself is when you calendar.

Like you really calendar it like it's a work. Like you treat it like that because if it's, um, I, I realize for myself that if it's truly so important to me and a priority for me, and it's equivalent to the other things in my life that I really care about a lot, and what's more [00:17:00] important than your body and your mind and your spirit and your health, right?

If we put it in our calendars and we keep that meeting with ourselves and we say, Hey, I wouldn't, I would never just not show up for a. So why would I never show up for myself like I am gonna show up for me? And I think that's, that like shift in the mindset has helped me personally to make sure that I make my workout, that I, I, I schedule my girls weekends, even though my daughter who's five like cries every time I go to do one of those because she wants to be with me.

But I'm like, well, hey, like I need to keep up these relationships. Like these are my best friends and I need time for me. Right. Hey, this person was here before you. No, I'm just kidding. . Yes, yes. . No, but it's true. And I think you, we have to just be clear about what really, really matters to us the most. And if like, you need to do a girl's night, or you need to hang out with your friends, or you need to, you know, do what you wanna do for your own self-care.

Just making [00:18:00] that an appointment that you would never miss and treat it like, to treat it like it was, quote unquote, a work. If that helps. I love that. So, um, Bradley, what's one thing you do in the first hour or last hour of the day? Um, thanks. Thanks for the opportunity to share and the great advice so far.

Uh, personally, I've, I really, I'm really not a fan of the work-life balance. I think it's a misnomer of what you're trying to accomplish. No, it's too mechanical cuz it's not like respecting that we biological animals, you know, you can't balance work and life. It's about work life compatibility. . Okay. So if you, you're not gonna be the same employee if your, if your, if a parent is on the deathbed or if your child is suffering from addiction problems or if you haven't slept for three days and you're not gonna be a great family member.

If, uh, you're busy going through [00:19:00] a retrenchment process or you're having a fight with your boss, just answer the question. So I think that balance is a misnomer that we kind of get lost in. So for me, it's more about respecting your biology. respecting. So what's one thing that you do in the last hour or first hour of the morning?

Uh, well, uh, Andrew Huber's morning routine, uh, is probably the best for me. So, uh, getting natural sunlight, uh, without any sunglasses or anything within the first hour of waking up and having your caffeine, 90 to 120 minutes after you wake up. Um, getting some sort of exercise and, uh, I think when you have a really solid start to the day like that, then generally you sleep better, you perform well during the day.

And I think consistently just getting a good start has been very productive for me, for having a great day. Yeah. So that's a good one. Um, and what, what are you sharing as Andrew [00:20:00] Huberman did this episode on. Morning routine basically. So the first thing that your eyes should see in the morning is sunlight.

Try to just get outside if you can, because if you look through a window, it's like 50 times less effective. Um, and there's like a little saying, you know, sunlight before screen light, and then to have your coffee around 90 minutes after you wake up because, you know, um, there are bi biological changes with like adenosine and cortisol happening in your body.

Basically your coffee, coffee won't have the effect that you want it to within the first 90 minutes after waking up. So, um, you're just drinking like calories. Uh, so that's, that's a great one. Conta, uh, Jace, aj do you wanna chime in here? Just, uh, giving one thing that you do in the, in the last hour or the first.

This is Kinta Malone Doyle, and thank you so much for allowing me to speak this morning. And [00:21:00] first of all, I'd like to say how much I have been blessed by your community and the tribe. Everything that has been said has been so inspirational and I really don't have a lot to add to it other than living in a perpetual state of gratitude is what gets me going in the morning and what helps me shut.

The end of the day, and I have found that a reflection exercise, at the end of the day, I journaled, and now this year I have decided to look back last year at where I was and consider where I am today and just be grateful and that allows me to have that work-life balance. What if you had a bad day? How do you, how do you do that Journal?

Um, if I had a bad day, I journal and I write down what I could have done differently to prevent that. And then if it [00:22:00] happens again, what I need to do, and as someone said earlier, the difference between religious and spiritual. I'm a very spiritual person. I try to stay in connection with my creator and try to live in the image of him.

So I always try to, you. , you know, train my day around that, you know, just being the best that I can be. So if I have a, you know, I, I, I think you're, I think you're dead on with that cuz good and bad is perspective, right? Right. Mm-hmm. , right? You're not really supposed to be anxious for anything. Whatever you're going through, you should look at it as if it's for you and there's something that you.

correct? Yeah. And I've been in the service industry for 34 years, and since the onset of Covid, I have had to totally regroup my perspective on life in general. So I, I'm just, I'm grateful. [00:23:00] Gratitude is what motivates me in the morning to get up and then sets the tone for a good night's room. , I could tell you that the ha, the happiest people that I know are the most grateful.

Um, especially if they have money. The happiest people that I know with money are the most grateful. Money helps, doesn't it? Oh, yeah. Money does help, but you know, I know miserable people with money and then I know happy people with money and the happy, pe happy people with money are grateful and generous.

Those are the two things that I've seen. , and that's what I wanted to add to that. When you have money, the key to being happy with it is to give it away. And the more you give, the more you can receive. Amen. And, and listen, it's not just, it's not just the money that you're giving, right? It's the experience, it's the knowledge, it's the wisdom, right?

When you start sharing, You're getting your pour into you. Mm-hmm. , it's also energetic, so money, everybody thinks, you know? Mm-hmm. , when you focus on your bank account, you're like, oh my God, I don't have that [00:24:00] lack of Right. People don't understand that money is actually energy, and so if you have money and you give it away or you share it, like beast does, this is why this man like lights my heart up.

It's done from. Spaces done in generosity, it's done in humanity. And that just attracts more money, right? It comes from a higher vibration, right? Money currency. Yes, it is. I've, I've heard, I've heard money referred to as my own net energy yield. basically, I've never heard. Okay, aj? I like that. Yo, that's aj.

I just realized it. What does, what does money mean? That is so complicated. Don't nobody steal that one. Nobody's gonna steal it and we're not gonna steal it. Um, all right. Who else wants to add something that you either do in the last hour of the day or the first hour of the day that hasn't been mention?

I don't know if it's been mentioned. I kind of got here late. [00:25:00] But my big thing is I wake up, my wife wakes up, we get up at like 4 35 in the morning, so we don't see the sun right away, but we hit the gym right away. So I work out, uh, we have a gym in our home. I work out there. She heads to the gym down the street, she works out there.

She goes right to work. And then, uh, by the time I wrap up, that's when it's time for my son. So that is a habit that we've had even before we had. where we just would get up in the morning and we would work out because we looked at it and we thought if you, if you get up and you work out, you feel good, you get that adrenaline rush and it's like you win the day, like you already won the day.

So whatever you need to take on, you've already accomplished something that's very important to you. So that's, that's something that I, I practice every day of my life, even when I'm on. . So what, what would you say to someone who does that, um, and they wanna get their partner to do it? [00:26:00] So, that's an interesting question.

I mean, I think the, the thing that you have to do more than anything is set the example that this is what you do and how you like to live. And where it kind of helps a lot is my wife and I, because we wake up so early means we also go to bed so early. If one of us was waking up late, it means we're probably going to bed late.

And you know, for us, we like spending time with each other and that's, that's a way to make sure our schedules overlap. And it's helpful when you got the three year old runaround to do that. Um, it's a, it's, you know, physical fitness and when you work out, they are lifestyle choices and they are things about yourself that, you know, when you meet somebody.

These are important things to like kind of talk about and understand. One decides to take it on. You know, like I said, with my wife and I, we kind of just looked at it as a way, all right, how do we make our schedules work and sync up? And if, if that's something that's important, that's, that's a way to [00:27:00] go about it.

But I'm honestly shanee, I'm not a relationship expert. So , that's not okay. I'm just asking cuz there's somebody probably in the audience that wants their person to wake up with them. Um, or what? . Jana, I would love to add onto this topic a little bit if that's okay with you. Cause I know it's a little steered away, but it's still part of a Yeah, but just be quick because I really wanna stick with like having a list of last hour and first hour stuff.

Don't worry, I'll make it snappy. I think it's all about accountability. If you go are there for her, for him and show them, hey, we could have fun working out. Same thing when it comes to every sort of activity. I work with my significant other, we work out together, we do almost everything together. It's really about accountability and it's just being supportive.

I'm much just keep it that short and snappy, Shana. But, uh, back to the whole first hour and last hour, something we love to do is look at the sunrise every single morning and we love to see the sunset every single [00:28:00] day. So that's for, for us, where we are having a, a reset. . So when you're looking at it, are you both on your phones?

Like what does this ritual look like? Absolutely not. We will, we will literally just go for a walk, walk the dog, and thankfully where we have, we have a neighborhood, we have like this neighborhood that kind of oversees the water and it's pure, you can see the ocean perfect. You can see the sunrise and everything.

We're not allowed to touch our phones. We're walking the dog and we're just enjoying the breeze. And there's, there's benches out there for us to sit and just. The scenery, enjoy the beauty of just the world waking up. So that's for us, our rule of thumb is we do not touch our phones. Yeah, that's a good one.

I'm adding it to the list. Um, Shankar, what's one thing you do either the first hour or last hour of the day?

Well, to be very honest, the first thing I do is get a cup of [00:29:00] coffee, but then I immediately sit down, what kind of coffee do you drink? And I. Because that will reveal everything I need to know about you, . All right. Well, I actually, I really liked the Dunking Donuts. Oh, what do you mean skar? All the coffee in the world and you're drinking Dunking Donuts?

It's, no, no, listen, it's good. It's good coffee. If you get the whole beans and you have a machine at. That grinds the beans fresh. And then Brian, do the boo sound, do the blue sound,

Yeah. So after that, uh, some affirmations and I really like to focus on gratitude and also on prosperity. My, one of my favorite affirmations is my income keeps increasing every day. I really like that one. And then to finish the day, um, Andrea and I, we like [00:30:00] to laugh a little bit, so we typically. A, a show right now we're going through all of the episodes of Family Matters that I had never seen before, but we are catching up on everything and it's just fun, um, finishing the day with some humor.

I like that one. That's a good little ritual to have to just watch something funny and laugh at the end of the day.

Yep. That's good. I think I, I laugh every night, . Cause I can never, I can never go to bed without a little five year old coming in and being my weighted blanket. Like, I don't need to buy a weighted blanket. I got 50 pounds . Uh, that's funny. Um, Nadia, what's one thing that you do in the first or last hour of your.

Hello everybody. Good morning or good afternoon, wherever you are. This is Dr. Nadia [00:31:00] bta. I'm an innovator, entrepreneur and mom in chief of four. So my ritual for, uh, the end of the day that I do with my kids every night is reading stories and we make our own. So we kind of role play, what's the setup?

What's the, the five Ws as they say. And we create stories on the fly. And, um, we also, somewhat, couple of my kids are younger, so there's a lot of drama in the morning to get everybody ready to go to school. So we tend to kind of make stories out of that. Okay, who's gonna be, you know, the character of the day today?

And we make something around. and lesson learned and that really helped a lot. Within like six months, they improved on the behavioral side. It allowed us also to be creative. It, um, allows them to tell [00:32:00] stories in their own words, and I really enjoy it. They didn't know that I'm training them to be public speakers and leaders in the long run, but it's fun to create.

Co-create. And to be honest, doing those types of exercises reconnected me with my innovative, with my creative side too. It's amazing when you let your guards down, when you open up to even their feedback about me and the one thing throughout the day. I know this discussion is about the first and the last hour that helped me.

Professional and mom in chief is to be present in that moment. I don't think we can have it all at once, but we can own that one moment that we are at, and that's where presence and gratitude and I always have my notes next to my bed. [00:33:00] I'm very, all the, somehow all my flow comes right before I go to bed.

So whenever I have ideas or. or things to new to tests or to implement, I write them down so I don't have to, you know, to think about them. I review my next day, um, what I have to do, so this way I don't have to think about it the following day. So I do some journaling once they are in bed in the morning.

Yeah. I'm with you Shankar. I need my cup of coffee. Sorry. Tonight in the first hour. But, uh, oh, no, I'm not downing the coffee. I'm downing the brand of coffee. I, I, I'm Cuban. I need my coffee . I, I, I do lava coffee from Italy, so it's a, it's a pretty decent coffee, espresso coffee, so I highly recommend it.

Shankar, I know you love coffee. If, uh, if you're a client of mine, you know what my coffee mug looks like? It's [00:34:00] ridiculous. I thought I had big cups. Yeah, . But you know what, Shanee to be honest, drink soup. I know. It's crazy. She has like a, I don't even know where she got that cup from. But anyways, you know what, I'm a huge coffee drinker.

I'm probably right up there with you, Shana, but I start swapping out coffee for Happy Juice. I don't know if anybody's ever heard of it. It's from Amari. They're like one of the. Supplement companies in the world, in the globe, it's all organic. They use a lot of like saffron and stuff. This stuff is liquid gold, like, and I'm removing coffee slowly.

You should try it out. That's awesome. Mine has a saying on it. All mom wants is a good night's sleep because ah, have younger kids so the chances are get interrupted a lot. So yeah, for all the moms out there, parents, caregivers couldn't. , yeah. First. Sure. I just add something. Go ahead. Avie. Is that, you know, as I've learned through, I think basically trial and error through having, um, [00:35:00] you know, multiple kids, and Tara knows this too, is.

Sometimes we wanna have this morning routine for this one and these two and these three things we do each morning. And then we wanna have the bedtime and we wanna have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 things we do as if we're never gonna be interrupted. And as if like nothing is ever gonna happen that interrupts that or, or distracts us.

And I just wanna say that what has helped me is I have morning and evening routines, however, I have to allow flexibility because if I don't, if I'm not open to that from the jump, then when something unexpected happens, I become more reactive, right? Instead of being like, Hey, okay, this is what happens, right?

And letting it flow. So I will say that for me, yes, in the morning, working out is really important, but I have days where I do it in the morning and I have days that I do it at night for my, because that's what works for me. And so I just wanna stress. We have these things that we do, but sometimes things can happen that are unexpected and we can still be [00:36:00] flexible and still like win the day and win the week and win the month, and so on.

Mm-hmm. , I would just like to say woman plans and God laughs. I agree with you. Yeah, it's so true. God's like, wait, you thought, oh no, no. That's not how we're gonna do it. . That's so true. Because I have five kids in this house and I'm like, I got a plan and it doesn't work. But something that Nadia said that I hope everybody in the audience heard, and it's really important is that present piece.

I think we're so focused on what we gotta do in the next hour and what's going on for the day. It's just being mindful and being present, and especially being present with our children because they're all watching. And Chane Liv is so little, she's watching everything. And so if. Flustered or we're having a bad morning, they actually feel that.

And so it's just to be mindful and present whatever happens, happens. Cuz it's so true. God's got a bigger plan than you can ever expect or see. You know it. It's funny night. And find that to that it's also [00:37:00] okay to ask for help and uh, because everybody goes through ups and downs and we are. I've had situations where I had two toddlers with the total meltdown in the grocery store about in a checkout, one of them run to the warehouse.

I had to trust, you know, a complete stranger with, to watch my kid and somebody just, I, I can still remember that and I can feel that, you know, emotion and support they had from complete stranger. She put her hand on my shoulder and she said, you're doing your best. I can watch out on where your kid over your.

Go get the other one. The same thing with the checkout person. She stop the line, move the other customers. So kindness goes a long way, and it's okay to ask for help when you need it. That's good. You know, last night my, my daughter was, uh, we don't have a TV in any of the rooms that I'm in. So, [00:38:00] um, for the last few months I've been in complete grind mode and it speaks to, I believe, , everyone was in this morning about not, not beating yourself up, you know, having a plan, but having contingency plays in place also.

But last night she walked in and she was wanting to read and we read a story, like the same story like nine times. And you know, dad was tired, dad had been out all day, I'd been working and I was sleepy. And he looked at me and she said, , I'm gonna let you work. I'm gonna let you do whatever you need to do.

It looks like you need to rest. I'll see you in the morning. Right? And your kids, they pick up on that, right? So it's really important that you maintain some sort of, um, some sort of peace within you, right? And finding that, that balance, that peace you need that because your kids are looking. They might not, they might, you know, someone said it the other day, they might [00:39:00] not watch the.

But they're watching you. They're watching your move, they're watching your attitude, and they're feeding into that. And whatever you are doing, that's what that habit that they build up, you know, um, Nadia said it earlier about bringing her children up to be public speakers. Right. My, my biggest thing was bringing, bringing my kids up to be, um, just great humans.

Right. Just, just understanding. Life has its ups and downs, but don't let it get you down.

Yeah. So, um, I love that. Share, what, what's something that either you learned from this year's, today, or something else that we could add for the last hour or the first hour? I learned a lot.

One of the thing, one of the things that, um, when I got married years ago, , [00:40:00] my husband's godmother, who's a dear friend, she said, and this is something really to add to your, either morning or, or, or nighttime. Um, schedule a routine, if you have to schedule it or make it a routine, is to tell people that you love them.

And I know that it sounds and may sound strange, but how many times do we think to ourselves, oh, I have to text that person, say hi. Just tell them I was thinking of them. Um, my husband's godmother would say, never go to bed mad, like, at your partner. Like, try to just leave the night so that it's, it's positive and you tell them you love them because you never know what can happen.

And I always take, that's a heart because when I'm like frustrated with, with my husband or something, or frustrated with the kids, I always center myself and go back. , I do go back and anchor myself in gratitude and I go back and anchor myself in love and I say, I love you and you know, I [00:41:00] have to do that for myself and for them.

And so I think that's something that may seem insignificant, but I think it's really powerful because at the end of the day, we don't die and wish we worked more. We sometimes, you know, Bonnie. Bronny wears five regrets of the dying. You know, this first was, I wish I had the courage to live a life that I wanted, not the one that was expected of me.

And the second one was, I wish that I took care of my relationships. Like, I wish I really nurtured them. And so for me, that's one way I try to nurture my relationships is to always tell people I, I, I'm thinking of them and that I love them.

I love that one. That one's a great one. . Um, when they also look at like the healthiest and happiest people, it's also people that, you know, have long-term nurtured their relationships and you know, you have to put effort into that. So you have to prioritize in, it's the little things like those text messages or voice notes or whatever.[00:42:00]

But Justin, I love you out of. . You know, even my oldest, she's 21. I don't know. That scares me sometimes. I'm like, what do you want, ? Yeah. Hey, that my son, I'm like, there, they're, there's something behind this . That's, and listen, that's, that's exactly what my son said. He's like, uh, why are you telling me you love me?

I was, man, I'm just telling y'all. Love you. But the girls, they, they're like, oh yeah, I love you too. I'm like, how much? And then they'll, they'll wave their arms out and they don't, I, I asked my five year old last night, I said, does Dad tell you he loves you? He said, no way. Always tell you love me. That's funny.

I love telling, I love telling people, Hey, I love you. It's just a good feeling to say I love you. Mm-hmm. just to, oh, go ahead. Sorry. Go ahead. No, I was gonna say just to share, uh, that we grew up that way in my family, just for everybody. If you think it can happen, it really can. My dad had an argument with his father.[00:43:00]

The next day his father had a heart attack and my father has always felt guilt. And so he makes sure that he always showered us with love and I do the same for my children. Um, so it can happen. So don't go to bed angry. Just always make sure you mend the things that are important to you. You know, you could disagree, but uh, always discuss it and don't go to bed mad cuz you never know is correct, Wendy.

That is so true. I just lost three family members in the last four. And it happens fast. And so we do have a rule here. I've always been like that. I never go to bed angry with anybody, my husband, my children. It does not matter, or even anybody in our network through a disagreement, anything like that.

Before we close out the room though, I just wanted to say that everything that we share here, like what works for me, might not work for you. I don't think there's any like, there's like a structure that is perfect for everybody. So anybody who's listening below you really just gotta find what works for.

In your, your life and how you are [00:44:00] gonna, you know, harmonize work and life. Cuz everybody is very, very different. And I think if you can figure out the things that light you up, the things that you're passionate about, the things that, that like take you into the best energetic flow where you can, you know, be productive for 90 minutes during the day.

And. You know, you can get things done and you figure out what your core values are and what your drivers are, you're gonna find a routine that just works for you and your family. So I just don't want anybody listening to all these and being like, well, I have to implement that. I don't want to do that.

It's not for everybody. It just happens to be my personal experience and those are the things that work for me. That's a great point. We may add one second. One second. Cuz Alon came to the stage. Alon, am I saying your name? Alon, Alon. You have, you have to unmute your mic.

Alon. Okay. There you go. You, you got it right. You got it right. Which one? Ellon or Alon? Um, uh, [00:45:00] like I, I go by so many names to be Which one's the right one? Cause what does your mom call you? , Alan, my mom calls me Philip. Oh, okay. Well then now we're getting complicated. . Exactly. , okay. Yeah. So, so all if she remembers my name, that's, that's, that's always a good thing.

That's all. Um, so I, the one thing I wanted to share with regards to, to the last hour of, of the night or, or whatever your. , um, you know, from my career going from, from sports to paramedics to now high tech, um, it's been one focus is, is your, your, your mental capability with regards to handling failure and resetting that's handle every day.

So what I. [00:46:00] is, and, and everyone else could be different, but for me, I, I, I go out and I'll, I'll do a walk and I'll put on music that, that gets me motivated and going focused on my, my, the way that I walk, my positioning, my, my physical appearance, the way that I structure myself. It's important because you, you, you.

your, your, your physical influences, your mental mm-hmm. and I, I would, for example, I know this is crazy and out there, but I would go out and, and pretend I was walking down the 18th fairway being Tiger Woods, and I would go and walk and walk until I felt their confidence again that I was gonna go and be a rockstar the next day and not scared to fail the next day.

It's fine. I'm gonna reset. I'm gonna do it again. [00:47:00] Mm-hmm. . So that's always been my thing and I hope, I hope that's helpful. I love that. Uh, do you take a weapon with you?

No, I don't. Okay. I'm just asking if you're gonna do that and you're a woman, just take some weapons, , because the last hour of the day may be dark. I land up doing this at, at sometimes I, I'm, I'm working American Hours from, from, uh, Israel. Ah. So, um, I'm usually doing these walks at, at midnight to, to two or three in the morning.

Wow. So there's very few people around. Wow. Yeah. But I love that and I think it's interesting that, you know what, everyone has basically shared a lot of it. I think 80%. , um, goes to show the power of like getting back into your body because a lot of us, what we do is like on [00:48:00] the internet, online, you're working on a computer, you're in your head a lot and a lot of the feelings, like you said, Alan, um, they really are associated with your body and we forget these things.

So it's interesting how, like what people do get us back in our body, especially the last hour of the. . Correct? Correct. It's a, it's a, it's a big strength for me at least, to, you know, from paramedics dealing with heavy failure every day. Well, sometimes it wasn't failure, but you, you had to show up the next day as motivated and passionate, no matter.

you know, whether you're dealing with a, a granny that broke a hip or, or a child that drowned, right? If you have to have the same motivation, so you have to have a reset pattern to keep going. [00:49:00] Yeah. Um, and for me, uh, I found doing a, a physical activity until I felt my, my mental side re reengage. then I knew it was time I could turn off for the day, I could sleep well.

Yeah. And that's powerful. You know, we could have like a whole room on relationship with failure because it, it's kind of like you're training your mind and your body to not take failure personally, which is extremely powerful. And what most people do when they fail is they allow too much time to pass between them trying.

And it will like get in the way of their confidence. So like if I fail, even with something so simple like a live audio room, if I wait three weeks to try another one, my chances of success are slim. I need to do it tomorrow. Oh my God, that is so good. Shene. You should really do that room in all honesty.

Cause I think that is super important. [00:50:00] So many people get in their own way and then they just throw in the towel and they don't realize that if they hadn't just continued on, pressed on just a little bit more. That's where the. . Yep. And it's, and it, what he said is so powerful. It's really important to know yourself when you fail.

And it's really important to know, to put like a, a routine to like get you back up. Whatever works for you, like whether that's okay. Allow yourself 10 minutes to cry, hear little speech, go outside, whatever. Turn off your phone. Whatever works for you. But you need to have that, especially if you're in entrepreneurship or good.

Uh, if I may add, um, I do what's called letter to self and I found them very motivating. So I will literally auto send a letter to myself three months from now. But what's my goal in those three months? And it's, it doesn't have, you know, uh, KPIs or [00:51:00] metrics to, to reach from a business standpoint or a growth standpoint, but it's more to reconnect with my why, to reconnect with who I'm serving with the big picture.

I think reconnecting with that big picture whenever you're having a bad day, whichever, whether it's turning off your phone or do physical activity to push yourself until you reengage your brain to reset for the next day or the end of the day or so on. But I found that exercise super powerful that it keeps, it keeps me, um, focused, but it's okay to have a bad day because I'm not doing.

you kind of dust yourself up. Cry if you have to take a strong coffee or your drink of preference or reach out to somebody that you can be yourself. You can't be vulnerable and you know they are there for you without judging you, [00:52:00] without, you know, blaming you just to listen. I always have this image of we need a poo and piglet on that, you know, uh, a tree that sometimes having a friend just sitting there next.

even not saying anything is all you need if you are having a bad day to reconnect, to recenter and get the ball rolling again. Yep. I love that. So, um, I wanna start, I can add 2 cents. Yeah, Alan, go ahead. Uh, on, on, on, on on Nudges point and, and she's, she is so correct. You know, I, I've been doing this for years, this kind of reset.

kind of routine and it doesn't work sometimes. And you know, Nadia mentioned it like on, on the.is sometimes you need that person. You, you need that person that could, can, can pull you out of, of kind of you dwelling down a hole and so you can reset again because you [00:53:00] just can't do it yourself. So you can attack tomorrow at 110% again.

And like, I'll, I'll, I'll call my. , for example, uh, my, my sister, I will call her and, and, um, she, she will give it to me hardcore and she will tell me, you know, I'm, I'm , I'm, I'm full of shit.

It's, it's, it's important. . Yeah. And it's important to know who that person is. . Um, I think that's the most important thing, because you can talk to the wrong person and they'll end up making the situation worse. Yeah. And, and what happens is, and we could have a whole room about this, is that sometimes just people just call the person that will make them feel better.

And sometimes that's not the right person to call. Sometimes, like he said, you need the person that's gonna give it to you straight and. [00:54:00] May like, give you the hard truth that you need to hear. Absolutely. I hope you're taking notes on all of these suggestions you're making for the meeting. Yeah, I am. I'm gonna release an article.

It's coming, it's coming with what everyone shared too. Um, but yeah, this is, this was amazing. We have to continue this conversation. Avie, you wanna add something before we go? No, I just really wanna stress what Paris said actually, because I think we look. . We look at how we feel about something and we compare it to what someone shares or the image of someone and what we think they're doing.

And I think we have to, the first thing we have to do is really know ourselves and know what we need. And if one thing is gonna work for you in the morning, do one thing. Like you don't have to do the five things. I know there's that book called The Miracle Morning, and my friend does all of it, and I do maybe two, right?

Mm-hmm. and some days I don't like, it's okay. Again, the flexibility and to terrorist point, finding what works [00:55:00] for you, but that requires you knowing you and being honest with you about what that would be. Trying it doesn't work. Try something else. Yeah. And know that you're gonna have to try different things, right?

Like you won't know something works unless you try it. So, , you know, just l like experiment. You won't get new results without new testing and stuff like that. So, um, I wanna thank you all for listening and, and learning. We're gonna compile like a list of everything that was shared together and then you could take in.

Test whatever you want. Um, I wanna ask you to follow the speakers on stage because it takes a lot of courage for them to come up to the stage and speak. And they didn't have to give their time today, um, to pour into you all. So follow them and especially follow whoever you resonated with. And, uh, any final words before I close down the room from any of the speakers?

You're amazing. Everybody on this stage is amazing. Thank you Brian. [00:56:00] You too. You too Brian, for sharing your experiences, for being vulnerable, for all your advice. Super valuable and you know, get advice from others, but do what works for you. So something that you can keep in the long run. Have a. . Awesome. I will give people 30 seconds to follow everyone in the room.

God bless you all and have a phenomenal Wednesday. Go crush it today and you know, connect with the speakers.